Faith is making the choice to trust in that which can't be seen.
This has been one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn. It's funny because a little over a decade ago, I thought I mastered the art of faith, but what I realized is that I completely forgot what faith meant. Most of the past year had been very dark. I knew it was a time of "death" in the cycle of change, a time when the chapters of one period of time closes but before the new chapter begins. I was told in October that the dawn was quickly approaching, and sure enough, in Decemeber, it came.
The New dawn came with all the changes I knew would come, but blindness continued to rule my sight. I knew what was to come, but I didn't know how or when it would come about. All I knew is that the first step would to be a newer and more reliable vehicle. When we went to go car shopping, we ran into alot of dead ends that day. Frusterated, my husband wanted to head home, but I insisted that we go to one more place. Reluctintly, he agreed. We arrived at the dealership with a specific price point in mind. We planned on buying a minivan so we would have plenty of room for the kids and pets. They had one on the lot and it was over $2,000 from our prce point. My husband wanted to look at it anyway's and see if we could bring him own at least a little. The salesman handed to keys to my husband and walked away. The van wouldn't start. I figured maybe it was an anti-theft device on it or something, so I went to get the salesman. He said it was probebly the battery, so he brought out the battery charger as my husband continued to look inside the vehicle. I was hesitant at this point. The battery charged, but the vehicle still wouldn't start. He said it needed gas. So, as he was getting a gas can, I started walking around looking at other vehicles. I alreay made the decision not to buy it because it didn't feel right. I saw an SUV that I really liked and asked him if there were any SUV's that were cheaper then the mini-van. He said no and then asked, which one are you looking at. I pointed to a trailblazer, an spit out the price. It was at our pricepoint, to the penny...out the door! Even the guy looked surprised that he said it. I was thrilled and we spent a while looking at it, checking everything and taking it for a test drive. I felt goo about this purchase and have no doubt that were led there in order to get the vehicle we were meant to have.
The next purchase on our list was a house. I had been following several properties in our desired location for almost a year, but one particular property stuck out at me the whole time. It felt like it was our home. So we took a trip to see the home and property. It was a forclosure, but in really good shape so we made an offer. Being that it was banked owned, we got a reply saying that there were multiple offer's and to submit our highest offer. It seemed weird since the house had been on the market for some time and couldn't figure out how they had more offer's, accept that one of the other realitors in our realitor's office mentioned that she wanted her kis to buy it, but they never jumped on the opportunity. I figured it was her kis that submitted an offer after we did. For this property, though we wer hoping to get it a little lower, we had,again, a specific price point where we felt we would agree at. We submitted our final offer at that price point and waited. I started getting cold feet and decided to research the bank online and read some reviews. The bank, though very well known, ha some very bad reviews submitted by alot of people. The peace I had about the property was gone. It so was so far gone, that I even gave up on the idea of them accepting our offer at all! I talked to my husband and I could tell he was heartbroken. He really loved the property. The next day he tol me that even though it's good to read up on these things, he still felt peace about it and wasn't going to give up on it. Since the offer was submitted on a Friday and it was a three day weekend, it made for a very long and stressful weekend. I went back and forth from reading more reviews to watching the home video I made of the tour of the home. It was odd because everytime I watched that video, I felt peace, like it was already ours. When I read the views, doubts began to creep in again. I was literally driving myself nuts! I finally sat back and thought about a time in my life when the impossible became reality. It was one of those times where I had nothing left but the cliff to jump over and the hope that I didn't fall flat on my face. It was one of those time's to where, to this day, I still don't know how we made it through, but it was that blind trust that carried us through then and that same blind trust I needed to guide us through now. So I told God, I'm done stressing over this and I can't trust myself or anyone else at this moment, but I trust you.I'm giving this decision to you for you to make for us and I'm not going to stress over it anymore. And I didn't. A few dys later, they came back with a counter offer, they wanted to close escrow a week early which means closing in less then three weeks.
Though we are still going through escrow and hiccups can happen, I feel peace. I feel guided and watched over. And even though it could fall threw at any point for any reason and the inspector could possibly come back saying this place is horrible,, I still feel peace that it will all work out.
I replaced anxiety for peace not because I believed that we would get what we want, but because I made a choice to leave the decision to a higher power, but moreso trusting that knowing within that this higher power would make a decision based solely on our highest good. I realized that when I become spiritually lost, it's because I have a particular outcome in mind and I am not able to trust that higher power to fulfill that outcome. Trusting in God or whoever your higher power is, is not about trusting that you will get what you pray for and it's not hoping or trying to manifest what you have in your mind, it's trusting that they will make the best decision for you and will manifest the best outcome for you.
It's literally Blind Faith because you have absolutly NO idea how things will turn out. The ONLY thing you know is that this higher power has only your best interest in mind while caring for you. One of the hardest lessons we will ever learn is letting go, but within the release of control, there is peace. If you release something and you are still feeling anxiety, it's because your placing your trust in the wrong area. Your placing your trust in the desired outcome, not into the hands of the one you entrusted to do what is best for you.
And this is the message I wanted to share ,the beautiful message of Trust. It's this kind of trust that allows miracles to happen. It's this kind of trust that allows peace to fill the depths of your soul and frees your soul from the chains of this life that bind you.. It's this kind of trust that releases fear and allows the seeds of hope to flourish. And it's this kind of trust that opens the door to all possibilites. The next time you are in a position of uncertainty, remember this simple teaching, remember that the only thing that is certain, is that trust.
Blessed Be,
Mystic Angel
