Ever since I was a kid, I have lived in my own little world, a refuge I created all on my own. I know the reasons I created it, mostly because I spent a lifetime running from who I was, who I am. Running from the "real world", at least this is what other's called it. I don't think I ever completely lived in the world that other's lived in. I have been walking through the veils all my life and have seen and explored other places that the "real world" say's doesn't exsist.
This really led me down a path of confusion and chaos. I had to learn at a young age how to survive, and I did it by creating my own world. I walked in between the veils of "real life" and "imagination", at least that is what the real world percieives it to be be.
But their world isn't my world. It never has been. It's taken me a lifetime to accept it. I'm not even sure I have. And somewhere deep down inside I know that I will never fulfill my purpose until I do. This road, the path I take is not really by choice. Everyone say's we have the ability to choose, but how do we choose to take our own path's when the call of the soul is so strong? Maybe the choices we make are not choices of this lifetime, but maybe destiny has already set it's course before we even got here. Sure we can make the choice to embrace it or run from it, but it always seems to call to us. That inner voice within the depths of our souls. It is so strong that it's undeniable.
I can't deny it anymore. I can't run any further. I'm not sure I even want to. Yet, the small child within still is unsure. It amazes me to even fathom the idea. After all that I have seen and experienced and to still attemt to deny it exsists? How much proof do I need? Why do I still run from this? What is it within me that I am afraid of? I have been given the tools I need to follow this path. I have seen both the curse and the blessings that come with it, yet there is something inside that still tells me that this isn't real or "normal". I'm the paradox, the walking contridiction. I know, I see, I feel and I experience, so what is it within me that still doesn't want to be believe? What am I really afraid of? Maybe what I fear isn't paranormal, maybe the fear I hold within is simply human. The fear of rejection, the fear of not being understood, perhaps it's the fear of being alone.
This may seem off topic, but I'm going to go with it. I'm sure this is some personal enlighenment within this tangentile rambeling somewhere. Spirit always knows how to turn the chaos into clarity. But have you ever just sat there and watched firefly's fly around in circles in the evening sky? The beauty within the simplicty. They don't ever think about what their destined path is, they simply fly around and live. They have no clue about the beauty they bring, they just allow their wings to carry them where the wind chooses. They bring light into the darkness and will never be aware in their entire lifetime that their purpose is so much greater then simply survivng. They will never notice the joy they bring to the other creatures around them, or the light they will shine to guide another creature.
They live in a world completely different from us. I susppect that they to are individual and no two fire fly's live in the same world either. Yet there seems to be unity within, a collective whole, although each firefly is mostly unaware of the other. Their stregnth doesn't come from the whole, but the unique role of each whichin the whole that creates the whole.
There is no deep understanding and contimplation in thier world. For them, it simply is. My world is not your world, it never will be, nor will your world ever be mine. Each and everyone of us has a chosen path, a purpose, and no two paths will ever be the same. As the firefly's, my gifts are uniquely my own and noone will ever have the same gifts as me. Noone will ever be able to do exactly what I do because these gifts are uniquely my own. Each and every person is unique and no two people are alike. But through our own individuality, through our own unique and sacred worlds, somewhere within all those worlds, there is a bigger world that encompasses all of those littles worlds creating the whole.
It's funny how my path of knowledge and understanding has brought me back right where I started from, the inner knowing that I was not a part of the "normal" world because there is no "normal". Each world is unique. Each world is different, yet each world has it's place, to serve it's purpose in the greater whole. I have been given this because noone else could ever do this. The only person who can do this is me.
Each world that we live in, the one we created for ourselves are all pieces of a greater whole. We have all been given special gifts and talents that noone else possesses, and each are essential for the creation and growth of the bigger world we are a part of.No one person can ever replace the other. It is impossible, because no one person could ever do what the other does.Just as one firefly could never replace another. Their collective worlds created the beauty of the miles and miles of beautiful light. Each serving an important part of a world they never knew exsisted, all by simply exsisting and living within their own.