Today was a pretty nice day. We took a drive to the lake with my parents. It was nice to be near the mountains and away from time. I miss being in nature. Sure, in some areas there is a ton of nature, but something about brown dirt and cactus that seems to make me want to disconnect more. I often found the desert to be dead, dry and pretty much void of life.. the land of the forgotten.
Today we went out there, and for a short time I was actualy able to see some beauty within the rocks and stones, a diamond in the rough. Outside of the land of concrete and tall buildings, beyond the dirty streets and the endless strip malls, was not only water amoung the desolate but an oasis that brought life to the dead. There was green grass and plants. There were mountains a steep cliffs filled with beautiful browns and reds. All around me there was life that I never noticed before, hidden deep within the shadows of no man's land. Whow would have thought such beauty could actually exists here, in the land of the forgotten.
As we continued down Bush Hwy, I began to feel a shift in energy. I know this energy, this energy is the spirits of the past. We turned off towards another recreational spot and along the way I saw cacti that appeared to have an eerie white glow around them. Enchanting yet haunting. We called the "Ghost Cactus". Again, life amoung the dead. As we reached the end of the driveway we ended up in a parking lot. There was a dirt path that led down to a flood plain and the up to the banks of the river. I could feel the presence of the spirits of the past once again. I begin to look at the mountains again, and something changed. I started looking at them like I did before and was unable to see the beauty of it. Once again I saw the brown rocks, the small hills, knowing the city was right behind it. I didn't want to loose this new outlook, not just yet but I lost it once again. Again, lost in the land of the forgotten.
We started to head back and everything started going back to the way it was. I started to see houses and golf courses. I saw big noisy trucks and wall to wall traffic. I knew at that moment that this place will never be home to me. I was hoping to find some inspiration from this trip, some form of enlightenment, but I have failed to see the lesson of this. Maybe it is true, that what we feel inside is a mere reflection of what is within. Maybe I was meant to see what the spirits once saw and to mourn their grief of loosing all that was. Or maybe they were trying to show me my own.