After much thought and consideration, I felt compelled to look into a form of religion that best suits me. Before applying for Ordainment, I read testimonies and different forms of religion. I saw how so many have done as I have and I thought that I should go for being ordained. I have had a hard life and worked to support my family. I have sacrificed so much for others, not out of sympothy, but empathy. There is so much pain and suffering in the world today at the hands of powerfull governments and powerfull Churches. Where can one turn for morality, ethics, and comfort other then a true person that is true to themselves and true to others. I have helped countless people when they just needed someone to talk to. I gave advise if they so chose to hear me. Even when I knew I was waisting my time talking with them, I still had to stay true to them. They confided in me and told me things in confidence. I could not betray them or abandon them. Even when my own children came to me, they knew what was said was in the strict confidence. My wife would ask me what we talked about, and I would tell her the conversation was between them and me. If they choose to talk to you about it, then so be it. I myself has always been alone. I was not much for mingleing with people. I have this curse of being to sensitive to people around me. I see them better then they see themselves. I can read them like a book. There has been but a couple of people I have considered to be a friend. I have had many aquintences, but not friends. Even people I have felt to be of the unsavory, if they came to me in confidence I could not turn them away. I have told them in the intrim what I seen in them, and what I felt towards them, but surprisingly they still confided in me and would talk with me. Most of them were surprised to hear what I had to say about them, but they accepted my thoughts and observations.But even though these things are rewarding to me and I still am there for people, I still feel empty, and wonder where in this life do I fit in. Even though I have thought my purpose was just to be everyones councelor and confident, I can not stop thinking there is something else out there that I am suposed to do. I have no clue what my destiny is, or how to achieve what I am intended to do. Everyone has a purpose in life, I just do not know mine. Am I suposed to stay in a life where I truely have nothing? I see myself helping other people and see them become successful, and have a life. When I stuggle day to day just to barely survive. Please do not mistake my comment for feeling sorry for myself. I am happy with myself and my achievements so far. But realize I am just looking for a path that suits me and where I can feel complete. Completeness is more then happiness and satisfaction for what you have done for others.
