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Priest Cliff Northup Jr

What is left?

  • I am on a quest. The quest is to find some kind of spiritual wholeness. I have not believed in the “one true god” ever since I can remember. I had some kind of communion with the Lord and Lady, but this too has been at a loss for me for some time now. There has to be something relevant in the world that can be of spiritual guidance. I am sure there has to be some sort of higher power. We did not just come to be out of nowhere. There must be some kind of a creator. I just have not found anything tangible to believe in anymore.

    Even as I was growing up, and read the bible through, I found it to be an entertaining story that had no substantial bearing. As I grew and studied religion, and made comparisons, I could not have the faith that the accepted religions expected us to follow so blindly. The closest I came to a comfortable religion, is the Wicca Ways of Old. However, as I stated, my relationship with the Lord and Lady has not been as it was before.

    I am a lost energy looking for my purpose. I am Empathic since I can remember as well, however it is just recently that I have found this out. Just being Empathic alone, tells me there is a higher power, I feel it inside me all the time. My quest is to find out where this energy is coming from. The energy is obvious, but the knowledge and wisdom this energy gives me when I need it, has to come from somewhere. I seek this power. Feeling is one thing, knowing is everything. After all these years that I have been aware of being different from others, and feeling this strange source of energy with in me, why does it not make itself known to me?

    I am at an impasse that has left me emotionally and spiritually unstable. I have faith there is something greater than us out there, but I have no faith in their ability to bring my life to a point of acceptance and understanding to where I can be useful in this world and turn my life around for the better. Does this mean my usefulness in this life is over? Is there nothing more I can do? Is there nothing more for me here? Am I destined to lead a stagnant life with the rest of my days? I have much life left in me, and I would hate to see it wasted in an empty shell.

    I have sacrificed my entire life for others, I have nothing of my own. All I have acquired I have given up for the sake of others. I have no home, no job, I have no known useful future. Is this all the higher power has to offer? To use me for their doing and use me as a vessel to make right for others then leave me an empty life to go on with? I can only hope there is something other than emptiness for the rest of my life. I only wish there was a way the higher power would give me insight to my own future instead of insight into other people’s lives. This seems to be a fair question to be answered.   

     

     

     

    I am on a quest. The quest is to find some kind of spiritual wholeness. I have not believed in the “one true god” ever since I can remember. I had some kind of communion with the Lord and Lady, but this too has been at a loss for me for some time now. There has to be something relevant in the world that can be of spiritual guidance. I am sure there has to be some sort of higher power. We did not just come to be out of nowhere. There must be some kind of a creator. I just have not found anything tangible to believe in anymore.

    Even as I was growing up, and read the bible through, I found it to be an entertaining story that had no substantial bearing. As I grew and studied religion, and made comparisons, I could not have the faith that the accepted religions expected us to follow so blindly. The closest I came to a comfortable religion, is the Wicca Ways of Old. However, as I stated, my relationship with the Lord and Lady has not been as it was before.

    I am a lost energy looking for my purpose. I am Empathic since I can remember as well, however it is just recently that I have found this out. Just being Empathic alone, tells me there is a higher power, I feel it inside me all the time. My quest is to find out where this energy is coming from. The energy is obvious, but the knowledge and wisdom this energy gives me when I need it, has to come from somewhere. I seek this power. Feeling is one thing, knowing is everything. After all these years that I have been aware of being different from others, and feeling this strange source of energy with in me, why does it not make itself known to me?

    I am at an impasse that has left me emotionally and spiritually unstable. I have faith there is something greater than us out there, but I have no faith in their ability to bring my life to a point of acceptance and understanding to where I can be useful in this world and turn my life around for the better. Does this mean my usefulness in this life is over? Is there nothing more I can do? Is there nothing more for me here? Am I destined to lead a stagnant life with the rest of my days? I have much life left in me, and I would hate to see it wasted in an empty shell.

    I have sacrificed my entire life for others, I have nothing of my own. All I have acquired I have given up for the sake of others. I have no home, no job, I have no known useful future. Is this all the higher power has to offer? To use me for their doing and use me as a vessel to make right for others then leave me an empty life to go on with? I can only hope there is something other than emptiness for the rest of my life. I only wish there was a way the higher power would give me insight to my own future instead of insight into other people’s lives. This seems to be a fair question to be answered.   

     

    I am on a quest. The quest is to find some kind of spiritual wholeness. I have not believed in the “one true god” ever since I can remember. I had some kind of communion with the Lord and Lady, but this too has been at a loss for me for some time now. There has to be something relevant in the world that can be of spiritual guidance. I am sure there has to be some sort of higher power. We did not just come to be out of nowhere. There must be some kind of a creator. I just have not found anything tangible to believe in anymore.

    Even as I was growing up, and read the bible through, I found it to be an entertaining story that had no substantial bearing. As I grew and studied religion, and made comparisons, I could not have the faith that the accepted religions expected us to follow so blindly. The closest I came to a comfortable religion, is the Wicca Ways of Old. However, as I stated, my relationship with the Lord and Lady has not been as it was before.

    I am a lost energy looking for my purpose. I am Empathic since I can remember as well, however it is just recently that I have found this out. Just being Empathic alone, tells me there is a higher power, I feel it inside me all the time. My quest is to find out where this energy is coming from. The energy is obvious, but the knowledge and wisdom this energy gives me when I need it, has to come from somewhere. I seek this power. Feeling is one thing, knowing is everything. After all these years that I have been aware of being different from others, and feeling this strange source of energy with in me, why does it not make itself known to me?

    I am at an impasse that has left me emotionally and spiritually unstable. I have faith there is something greater than us out there, but I have no faith in their ability to bring my life to a point of acceptance and understanding to where I can be useful in this world and turn my life around for the better. Does this mean my usefulness in this life is over? Is there nothing more I can do? Is there nothing more for me here? Am I destined to lead a stagnant life with the rest of my days? I have much life left in me, and I would hate to see it wasted in an empty shell.

    I have sacrificed my entire life for others, I have nothing of my own. All I have acquired I have given up for the sake of others. I have no home, no job, I have no known useful future. Is this all the higher power has to offer? To use me for their doing and use me as a vessel to make right for others then leave me an empty life to go on with? I can only hope there is something other than emptiness for the rest of my life. I only wish there was a way the higher power would give me insight to my own future instead of insight into other people’s lives. This seems to be a fair question to be answered.   

     

     

10 comments
  • Mystic  Angel
    Mystic Angel I know exactly how you feel. I went through this a few years ago, except mine was a little more "ego" based,lol. I started doing angel readings and giving the messages of the angels and helping people out. I always the love that flowed through me to give ...  more
    December 16, 2011
  • Mystic  Angel
    Mystic Angel he already knows anyone, no point in denying it,lol, I started to realize how blessed I truely was and that all the love and healing I was giving to them, he was also giving to me at the same time, I just didn't see it then. This is when I started going b...  more
    December 16, 2011
  • Mystic  Angel
    Mystic Angel love and light on your journey. If I can help in anyway, please let me know. Blessed Be
    December 16, 2011
  •  Priest Cliff Northup Jr
    Priest Cliff Northup Jr Thank you for your inspiration. I am in a very dark night now. I can not even venture to other places in my dreams for guidence, dreams, even normal ones have seem to abandon me as well. As I said, I am in avery dark night now, spiritualy and literaly. I ...  more
    December 17, 2011