I was born and raised Roman Catholic but have always had issues with the beliefs. I was an altar server and completed my sacraments as instructed. To this day I can still remember mass almost word for word, but to me the words ring hollow. There are some good teachings there but I have never been inspired by them nor have I ever felt closer to God while reading them. The church is a building not the house of God I was looking for. The people there worship Jesus or the Holy Trinity but never give thanks to the Divine Lord. This was by far the most disturbing practice that bothered me from an early age. The worship of Jesus as equal to God. Most Christians follow the belief the Jesus is our Lord and Savior. I to believe that Jesus was sent from God and sacrificed himself so that we could be steered down the right path towards everlasting life. But I can not believe that Jesus is God nor will I ever worship him over my true Lord and Creator. I tell you this so you can understand my confusion and fear when I received the calling from God to serve. I will not go into details on what had happened as that is between the Lord and I, but I will tell that I received no instruction on how to serve. For someone going through a spiritual dilemma this was an extremely frustrating, scary, and depressing time. I finally came to realize that the Lord wants me to serve in my own way and not to follow those who came before me. To take the road less traveled and create my own path. I have had my doubts about this choice up until last week. My 2 year old daughter was taking a nap so I spent this time in silent prayer. I lit some incense and silently prayed for guidance, as I was having doubts about how to proceed with my life. As I sat there, eyes closed in meditation, an image of an eye came to me and silently stared back. It would come and go, some times as an eye, other times as part face that was more than just human. I felt amazed and supported like I was doing the right thing. With the eyes of God on you its hard to keep your concentration so I slipped and opened my eyes. As the light of the world came back to me, I watched as the smoke from my incense billowed up to form several shapes of the eye, complete with irises. I finally had the guidance I was looking for. The eyes of God are upon me, lets hope I do not falter.
To: All who read this May the eyes of God be upon you and keep you safe. Brother Micheal McBride.
