Welcome to the ULC Minister's Network

Rev. Randall Gullickson

The 5 Biggest Reasons Couples Break Up

  • It seems the list of reasons for a relationship exploding is never ending. The things that annoy or enrage us about each other can sometimes seem so long it’s a wonder that anyone stays together at all. But when you stop looking at every minute individual thing, it’s possible to gather reasons together, and you’ll discover that when you do that, it is much easier to see what to steer clear of. The vast majority of all breakups are caused by the following groups of triggers: Stop your break up by avoiding these mistakes:

    1. Infidelity

    This is important! Relationships are created on trust, and the foundation of that trust, in a traditional relationship at least, is an exclusive physical bond. When one of the partners breaches that trust by becoming physically intimate with someone else, the setback is very hard to recuperate from. If the relationship survives the initial incident there is always going to be doubt about the level of trust between you. The best way of recovering from this problem is never to put yourself in the position in the first place.

    2. Boredom

    Some relationships just get uninteresting. One partner or the other, or sometimes both, will just become aware they are not having fun in the relationship anymore. The worst part is when two people recognize they are still together out of habit, not out of love. Restoring a flame is certainly possible, but when your relationship gets to this point you need to realize that it is going to take some real effort to pick it up and get going again.

    3. Too Much Control/Not Enough Freedom

    Ether way you look at it this is dangerous. A controlling partner wants to guide someone into their idea of a perfect partner. Generally they won’t trust them enough to give them freedom to grow and be themselves. When you don’t trust your partner it is always very hard to be in a relationship. From the other perspective, having a controlling partner is a nightmare. You just don’t have room to be you or freedom to enjoy the things that make you unique. You are smothered and unhappy. It’s not the end of the road when a relationship goes down this path, but it is very difficult for a controlling partner to give up their control.

    4. Conflicts

    When you are a couple there is plenty to argue over. Money is usually amongst the top things to start an argument. Sometimes it’s difficult enough to run your own life without having to deal with someone else’s. Couples can argue over anything from the way he looked at another girl to the way she looks in a dress. The list is really infinite. Where you find yourselves arguing a lot it’s best to take a bigger picture look and ask if you are arguing about the toilet seat being left up, or whether the true cause of your frustration is something deeper than that.

    5. The Little Things

    Here I’m talking about those little annoyances that grate and grate over time and become big annoyances. Anything from cracking knuckles to the way he chews his food can be an frustration that grows over time. Luckily it’s usually pretty easy to straighten these out. Just take a chill pill and don’t be bugged by them so much. Where that’s not possible let your partner know they are bothering you. They probably have no idea, and with a little conscious effort can stop the offending habit relatively quickly.
     

1 comment