It has been almost two years since my last blog entry, and so much in my life has changed. There have been splits and separations, reworkings and rejoinings, and the Wheel has turned all the while.
Since I last wrote, suffice it to say that I have grown quite a lot, and have a fresh and good perspective towards life. I have found ways to reclaim magickal parts of my beingness that I sacrificed to work in the corporate world, a plane of cold and dark where the only light was the family that I was taking myself away from.
My priest and I are still working together, but we are no longer lovers and housemates. For on that road I lost my wife and soulmate. Worse than that, she lost herself in the monumentous efforts she made to run the household, take care of our daughter, and accept sharing my heart and my body with someone else. So we separated for a time. We had a friendship to rebuild, for love still existed even as trust and solidarity had been demolished. I came to a decision to let her go in my heart, for all I wanted was her happiness. It was in that realization that I knew I was for her. I've known it in the past, but in losing her I really truly discovered what it meant to love someone with your whole heart.
As our friendship was rebuilt, she began the study of kung fu san soo, a brutal form of martial arts that she is excelling at. More than ever before she is comfortable in her own skin; our time apart allowed her the room to discover herself and others and in turn allowed me to let go the inner fear that she wanted me because I accepted who she was when no one else would. So she learned and grew, as did I, and seven months after she left me for brighter shores, we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. A month after that we considered ourselves officially back together and started the ardous task of maintaining a long distance relationship. She in San Diego, and me over 100 miles North.
Meanwhile I continued my midwifery training and working with my priest to raise up our coven. My wife started talking about teaching Wicca again, and as soon as we have a place of our own we will do just that. Finally exactly 18 months to the day after my wife left, I moved to Chula Vista where she is now living. We have been back under one roof for one week now, and we're loving it.
I guess the point of all this is to provide a point of inspiration to others who may find themselves in what they perceive as a hopeless situation. Miracles big and small happen all the time, and sometimes it is we who must walk the long, lonely roads to make those miracles happen. It's all a matter of perspective. And in the end, the journey well-walked with lessons recognized and learned from is worth the trip.
Blessed Be!
